Today, I woke up with the blues... Didn't realize why until I realized on this day April 14, 2001, I was walking down the aisle to the traditional wedding song staring at the man that I thought would be my best friend until death do us part. Unfortunately, our marriage didn't survive. I could say we grew apart but I would be lying. That is a cop out. The reality is we should have never been married. We were almost doomed from the word GO... The signs were there but this little hopeless romantic chic thought things would be different. He couldn't possibly be that bad, but boy was I wrong. We argued more and more each day. Our dreams became MY dreams. My reality was no longer HIS reality. I knew in my heart that I had given it my all and my soul could not bear being HUSBAND AND WIFE any longer. I had to make a SMART MOVE for me and my children. I was scared. Cried a lot. Didn't really open up to anyone because I was more embarrassed than anything. I hate failing. I knew I was destined to have the 2 kids, house, dog and one big happy family. I fought for that and HARD.. But the more I looked into my sons eyes, I knew he was hurting. Heck, I was hurting. I didn't want him to think that this was supposed to be the way a family lives, THE NORM! The more I thought about it, the more I knew I had to make a change. AND I DID! The day I decided to divorce was one of the worst days of my life. Life was hard for awhile and even though I put on a smile, played the part of a go-getter, had this air about myself that I was doing FAB, I wasn't. It took me awhile to finally come to grips that I am not a failure, even though today, I felt like one. I did what I had to do for me and my children. As I reflect and think about where I started, I think I have come a looong way, BABY(that's the silly girl in me) I still have my days every now and then, when I think about what could have been, but REALITY has a way of quickly reminding me what life used to be like. At that moment, I shake that ish off and keep it moving...... I can smile now, because our fights are NO MORE!! HE DID'NT MAKE A FAB HUSBAND BUT HE IS DAMN GOOD DAD!!!