Today, was the day that God decided to give me my own personal Angel. I went to the hospital knowing that I was never going to come out the same way I went in. I knew that Star was not going to come home, but the reality of it was, I had to come to grips with delivering my princess and still find a way to live. The moment she entered this world my heart overflowed with love, resentment and unclarity. I had questions that I knew never were going to be answered. After holding her and saying a silent prayer I was able to let go or so I thought. Somehow, I found the strength to say goodbye. I left the hospital with peace but God knows I was hurting. I hurt for days, weeks, and months. I just wanted God to allow me to have one more day. I wrote poetry, read the bible and cried. I did this for weeks without anybody knowing, not even my husband, until one day, something inside of me said YOU must find a way to go on. Be FREE, Be HAPPY and SMILE. On the outside looking in, I'm pretty sure everyone thought I was doing great, but behind close doors I was a complete mess. I put on my mask and hid it very well. It has been 7 years, since I lost my Princess Star and although I no longer cry as much as I used to, I am doing well! I am surviving! I am HAPPY! GOD placed her in my life for only a short time but she will forever LIVE IN MY HEART! STILL MISSING YOU....
Love,
Your Mommy!
R.I.P. My Angel!!!!
Hugs to you for writing this.
ReplyDeleteI know each year I've know you, you mention the loss of STAR on her birthday. I am sure she is smiling down on you and is very proud. I am so very happy that you have found peace with it and that you are ok. Have a cupcake today for her:) You both will love it!!!
ReplyDeletePrayers and peace for you.....I am so sorry for your loss. I could not even imagine.
ReplyDelete@Mimi, thanks so much, it means a lot!
ReplyDelete@Vonnie, thanks Vonnie.. I sure hope I am making her proud!
@Alicia, thank you so much for your kind words. Also, thanks for stopping by!