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Sunday, January 16, 2011

Today I will remember My Angel: Princess Star Jones

      Today, was the day that God decided to give me my own personal Angel. I went to the hospital knowing that I was never going to come out the same way I went in. I knew that Star was not going to come home, but the reality of it was,  I had to come to grips with delivering my princess and still find a way to live. The moment she entered this world my heart overflowed with love, resentment and unclarity. I had questions that I knew never were going to be answered. After holding her and saying a silent prayer I was able to let go or so I thought. Somehow, I found the strength to say goodbye. I left the hospital with peace but God knows I was hurting. I hurt for days, weeks, and months. I just wanted God to allow me to have one more day. I wrote poetry, read the bible and cried. I did this for weeks without anybody knowing, not even my husband, until one day, something inside of me said YOU must find a way to go on. Be FREE, Be HAPPY and SMILE. On the outside looking in, I'm pretty sure everyone thought I was doing great, but behind close doors I was a complete mess. I put on my mask and hid it very well. It has been 7 years, since I lost my Princess Star and although I no longer cry as much as I used to, I am doing well! I am surviving! I am HAPPY! GOD placed her in my life for only a short time but she will forever LIVE IN MY HEART! STILL MISSING YOU....

Love,
Your Mommy!
R.I.P. My Angel!!!!

4 comments:

  1. Hugs to you for writing this.

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  2. I know each year I've know you, you mention the loss of STAR on her birthday. I am sure she is smiling down on you and is very proud. I am so very happy that you have found peace with it and that you are ok. Have a cupcake today for her:) You both will love it!!!

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  3. Prayers and peace for you.....I am so sorry for your loss. I could not even imagine.

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  4. @Mimi, thanks so much, it means a lot!
    @Vonnie, thanks Vonnie.. I sure hope I am making her proud!
    @Alicia, thank you so much for your kind words. Also, thanks for stopping by!

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